Because sometimes I do.
My little brother got a kitten and I am so jealous I could die.
warriorprose said: I ASK. 3, 26, 33.
3. The person whose arms I’d like to be in.
The answer doesn’t matter. The arms I long for hold somebody else far more deserving than I and that is how the world works.
26. An internal conflict I have with myself.
Any answer I give to this question is one of many. I am a very conflicted person. The biggest, I suppose, is how do I know what is the authentic me. Sometimes I strive hard to be more “in the world” and less “in my head,” which means going way outside my comfort zone and I feel like a different person. If I could be that person all the time, I think I might do better in the world, but I always slide back into my comfort zone, my walled off introverted, fangirl chrysalis, where I feel like “me” but am not going anywhere.
33. What I love most about myself.
I feel like I have a serviceable vocabulary. Yeah, it could stand to be better, but at least I do not use malapropisms or gratuitous portmanteaus. Other than that there really isn’t much good about me. Well, I don’t have a “donate” button on the side of my tumblr or have a profile listing my triggers and privileges and made up pronouns. Seriously, why does anybody have a donate button on their tumblr?
Thank you for asking.
Anonymous said: #4?
Hello anon! Thank you for indulging this pitiful denizen of the internet.
4: My best first date.
I can’t tell if this is asking for an anecdote or if I am supposed to imagine what my ideal first date would be. It is rather embarrassing, nut not at all surprising, that I have had only a hand full of first dates. Only one of those every turned into a relationship and I would say y first date with him was the best I’ve had. This was at a time when I was in graduate school and working in retail at a now defunct major book retailer. I had been so bold as to give my digits to a warehouse guy I’d been crushing on for a month and he’d been so bold as to use it to ask me out for the following Friday. Then, unexpectedly, he invited me to grab a bite after work on Wednesday before our set date. It was the end of June but surprisingly mild and we went to a sandwich place and ate outside and wound up talking for two and a half hours. Long story short, we dated for a total of about 18 months. He broke up with me twice and the second time stuck. Haven’t seen or heard from him since. So a good first date doesn’t count for much. I don’t see any need to mention an ideal first date, to be honest, because I frankly can’t imagine ever going on a date ever again. I am not the sort of person that other people “like” or are “attracted to” and I stand in the middle of the neverending path towards making peace with that fact.
I hope that answers your question.
I am not bitter. But, uh, is it possible that I have been drinking.
Anonymous said: 41?
That’s right, I posted a numbered ask meme. And somebody asked! Thank you, kind stranger!
41: Where I would like to live.
There are a number of ways I could answer this. In practical terms, I would like to live in an apartment in a city (which city would depend on where I find that dreamed of “better job”). Sometimes, though, I wish I could just live in a tiny house out in the middle of nowhere. I don’t know how I would make my living, but I find myself increasingly overwhelmed by modern, all-digital life (no need to point out the irony of the platform I am using to say this). If I had books and a cat and a garden and a soulmate, the rest of the world could fade into the background. Oh and plumbing. I kind of need plumbing.